Annoying.

{ June 29, 2009 @ 11:23 pm } · { work }
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Annoying is the only word I can think of to describe some of my co-workers. LOL For the last few weeks I have been laughing about the stuff they are saying. Today, I just got annoyed.

I get work place drama and politics. It happens at every job. BUT DAMN! People that work in restaurants live for that shit. Lately, I have found myself falling into the gossip. I need to stop, but it’s really easy to get caught up in all of it.

I’m friends with a few guys at work. Now people are asking stupid questions and spreading rumors that I am or might be hooking up with them. It’s really annoying because one of these guys is MARRIED. And for the record I am NOT hooking up with anyone from Applebee’s.

I thought it was funny at first. I really did, because I knew it was going to happen. I just don’t know why I’m so annoyed by it now.

In other news….I’m ready for Britney to get here. LOL I say that like my friend is coming to visit or something. But I’m super excited for the concert. SUPER EXCITED!

Opinions…

{ June 22, 2009 @ 6:39 pm } · { Feminist Rants, General Information, Politics...kinda. }
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So…I’ve been reading and then today we have the Chris Brown “verdict”/plea bargain.

Many people think they know what happened. I don’t know. But what I do know is that someone beat Rihanna up. Maybe she cheated. Maybe she gave him herpes. Maybe she was talking shit to him and pissed him off. Then there’s always the small chance that she did nothing at all to deserve what happened. What I am sure of is that something happened and nobody should have put their hands on her. Same thing goes for her. If she hit him first….she shouldn’t have.

Still, there’s no excuse for any of it. And if he didn’t hit her…who did? I just find myself enraged by the fact that people would make excuse for why something like this could have happened. I own my share of Chris Brown’s music. I have SUPPORTED him and Rihanna. But when you hit women/men that you’re in a relationship with, it’s domestic violence. That’s something I feel strongly about. God forbid I have an opinion that people don’t agree with. Plus, I’m not cutting anyone any slack just because they are a fucking celebrity.

The funny thing about this generation is that we’re celebrity obsessed. Sometimes people forget that celebrities are REAL PEOPLE. So, they make mistakes and they do “crazy” things just like the rest of us. How can we put these people on a pedestal? They are not better than us. Which is why I use Chris Brown/Rihanna as an example. He is not better than any other man and it is not beyond him to hit a woman. That being said, I’m not going to make excuses for him. “Rihanna gave him herpes.” So? Does that make it ok for him to hit her? NO! “Rihanna hit him first.” So? That doesn’t make it ok. And being a woman doesn’t make it ok for you to hit a man. I won’t make excuses for her either.

Take those examples and change the names. What do you have? An every day situation with “normal” people. Change Rihanna to Tiffany or to your own name. It CAN happen to you or me. I recently had a friend leave her boyfriend because he beat her up. Why did he do it? He was always jealous and thought she was cheating. Even if she had cheated…does that make it ok? NO! The funny thing is that he was a decent guy. He worked with us and I saw him five times a week. I’m sure most of us never thought…OMG he beats up women. We didn’t and he did it.

I look at all cases of domestic violence and rape as a personal attack. When you’re hurting other people because you don’t know any other way to deal with your emotions or because something bad happened to you, it’s your responsibility to get help. I also feel like it’s our responsibility to speak out about these types of issues. So many women (and men) deal with violence and never speak out it. Sexual, physical, emotional/psychological abuse are all forms of violence.

The rape culture in this country is kind of crazy. The funny thing is that people are so naive. We play into this stuff and don’t even realize it. That’s for another blog entry though. LOL

So, maybe people should stop being mad at me for speaking my mind about it. If you don’t agree…it’s ok. LOL And please grow up and realize that Chris Brown is an example that I am using because it’s something we all know about. I don’t give a shit about him to be honest. I like his music, but I’m not going to bow down and make excuses or not talk about it because he’s in a music video or movie. He’s no better than I am.

;) Stop being mad and do some research. I bet at least 25% of your friends have been in a situation like this When it hits home for you, you will realize that there is no room for excuses.

The Circus

{ June 19, 2009 @ 2:29 pm } · { music }
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FIRST….if you have time. Click on the purple and blue box on the left side of the screen. It’s for a good cause and won’t cost you ANYTHING!!!! I swear. You just have to click.

I know I’ve had it all over my Facebook and Myspace status…but I had to say it again

I’M GOING TO SEE BRITNEY SPEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m STOKED! I was able to buy tickets for me and Delilah through the pre-sale. They aren’t amazing seats, but the best I could get with our little budget. LOL Then Jessica and Lilly were able to get seats directly behind us! This is corny as hell, but it is going to be AMAZING!

I’ve seen Justin Timberlake and Christina Aguilera. I’ve been to see a bunch of rock bands. But never Britney. HOORAY! I’m super super super super super EXCITED!

So, I thought I’d spread the good news! Plus, it gives me a reason to blog about something. haha

The above video is I’m a Slave 4 U. One of my all time favorite Britney videos. The one below is the reason I became a REAL Britney fan. I used to hate on her and secretly like her. I bought the Ooops…album in secret. Then when people found out I had it I lied and said my dad sent it to me thinking I would like it. I acted like he was soooo out of touch. Really…I went to Wal-Mart and bought that shit myself. haha

THEN….we ditched a Thursday night band practice to watch the VMA’s at Jessica’s house. It was my senior year of high school. I believe it was me, Nancy, Jessica, and Vanessa. We saw this performance and it was quiet for a few seconds after she finished. I was floored and I’m sure my jaw was on the floor.

Now…it’s not so crazy because we’re used to seeing stuff like this. But I remember it being a HUGE deal that she wore that “naked” outfit. LOL

And now you know about the moment I fell is love with Britney Spears. You might think it’s lame, but I can’t help it. While I love music with “substance”…I can’t help but love pop music too. She’s an amazing performer and you better stop hating RIGHT NOW! lol

With that being said, I will post the video. Too bad it won’t have the same affect it had back in 2000. But I’ve seen this video a gazillion times and I still get chills…wishing I could do that. haha

I just watched it again and got chills. LOL She’s an icon…mediocre singing voice or not. :)

Fell free to comment for once. You guys never do and I know you’re reading cuz my stats show it! ;)

I’m just sayin’…

{ June 16, 2009 @ 12:13 am } · { Personal, friends }
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I’ve been thinking about some things lately….

I planned to blog about something IMPORTANT. Something we could all relate to, but I’ve decided that today I will blog about something personal.

If I invite you to go out and you don’t wanna go…JUST SAY NO! I’ve discussed this before. To be honest I’m a little irritated with the etiquette of my El Paso friends.

I’m not going to cry if you don’t wanna do something. Let’s not forget that you’re not my only friend. Maybe we don’t have the same things in common anymore. I don’t know what the issue is.

All I can say is that I don’t need your excuses. I could have made other plans instead of waiting around for you. Plus, it’s kind of lame that you will text me fifty different excuses (like “I’m broke”) and then go out the very next night. Or…you say you’re staying in and then you post pictures on your Myspace or Facebook.

It’s aggravating. I’m sure there’s something about my personality that bugs you. Or maybe it’s the fact that I CHOOSE to be single. I like going out. I like hanging with different people. I like that aspect of my life. I like that I can casually date and do as I please. If you don’t like that about me…it’s not my problem.

Just be straight with me. It’s not that fucking hard. If I know you don’t like me anymore or you don’t wanna hang out with me…I’LL STOP CALLING YOU! It’s that damn simple. My life does not revolve around you. And did it ever occur to you that I call because I like you? Because I consider you a friend?

Hmm…anyway. This is directed at a couple of people. Some will read and others won’t. I don’t really care anymore. Just don’t expect anymore invites from me. I’m sure you’re happy about that since you waste all that energy making shit up when all you have to say is NO!

:/

Swag & Sex

{ June 5, 2009 @ 11:43 pm } · { Boys, General Information, sex }
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Dear El Paso…..LOL Please look up the term SWAG, Swagga, swagger. I have been here for almost 5 months now and people are killing me with their lack of knowledge on popular culture.

Just because Soulja Boy says “I put my team on and my jeans on….” doesn’t mean that swag/swagga/swagger means you sag your jeans and wear jerseys with a ball cap. Ok? I’m just saying. It’s been annoying the shit out of me lately. This dude at work actually said that! “It means you wear your jeans like this and put your jersey on and you look good.”

Ok…..LOL

Here is a decent definition of the word from my friend Delilah.

Swag: style, appearance, the way one carries/portrays themselves. Tiffany and Delilah have that single girl swag going in. Swag.

Delilah and I do not sag our jeans and wear jerseys with ball caps, ok?

On to the sex….

So, I had a conversation with a friend and we have decided:

IT IS NOT OK FOR GUYS TO MAKE FUN OF GIRLS AFTER SEX!

Let me explain further…don’t make fun of the sounds or faces she makes during sex and don’t make fun of what she looks like or does before/after/during an orgasm. I can guarantee that she will totally lose respect for you. Plus, if she even bothers to sleep with you again, she won’t feel comfortable being herself. There goes good sex.

Also, we don’t do that shit to you guys. Can you imagine how humiliated you would be if we made fun of your “oh face”? lol We might say it to our friends (depending on the “relationship” we have with you), but we don’t laugh at you right after. Mocking and imitating are not flattering. Ok? Fucking ass holes….

LOL So, next time you sleep with one of my friends, you better keep your mouth shut. Let’s be real. She might not have had that orgasm because of you anyway. haha

Hmm…I’m done. Oh yeah I know how to connect the two subjects. Guys with any type of SWAG don’t comment on stupid things after sex. All we need to know is if it was good. And if it wasn’t…JUST GET UP AND LEAVE! Seriously. ;)

FIESTA!

{ May 28, 2009 @ 9:44 pm } · { friends, sex, work }
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Ok…I’m going to start this by saying something.

I DO NOT appreciate that someone could find my blog by searching “I want to get married, but I can’t even get a date.”

:/

WTF. I resent that! lol Because I don’t wanna get married and I can get a date! haha

So anyway. Laryssa and I went to Fiesta last night. Well, we worked and then went to Maverick’s. After a few drinks we decided to have a little fun. LOL

We got down there and pretended we were lesbians. It was sooooooooo funny. Did you guys know that place has a drive in theater? WOW! They show “films” on Friday and Saturday nights. Then they have an “arcade.” We went into one of the rooms and put in a dollar. While we were laughing our asses off we heard a bunch of moaning and stuff. So we started bumping the wall like something was going on in our room. haha Too funny.

They have 2 theaters on the inside too. We walked into one and of course a “film” was playing. There were guys in there and we left. The whole place was kind of gross.

Don't Drink The Water

You obviously can’t drink the water there. We took this picture in the bathroom. I was scared to wash my hands! (But I did anyway)

So, the old guy that was working didn’t know what to do with us. Laryssa kept saying that we wanted to watch porn for lesbian couples and he didn’t have anything. Then a spider almost attacked me! It was coming from behind and Laryssa saved me! haha It was a HUGE spider though. And the creepy man behind the counter said that he was collected a few of them to ask the pest control guy what they were. EWWWWWW!

Anyway it was fun.

After Memorial Day, I have seen the true colors of some of the people at work. Apparently, I was super wasted on Monday. NOT TRUE! I guess I let my guard down a little and had a good time. Now I’m a “Party Girl.” WTF I think it’s hilarious that they would say that about me. EVERYONE was drinking and some of those girls couldn’t even keep their bathing suits on because they were so drunk. I didn’t say anything. I guess I’m the only one that can keep my mouth shut. People talk too damn much.

I also found out that everyone was talking shit about other people. I’m so oblivious. I didn’t hear any of it. I also don’t hear any of it when we’re at work. I stay away from all of that stuff. It’s not worth it and when I quit I probably won’t talk to any of them again. Hmmm.

Well, I’m getting ready to go out now. Have a good night!!!!!

Memorial Day Weekend 2009

{ May 26, 2009 @ 2:05 pm } · { CrAzY, Personal, family }
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Fun times…until the very end.

Saturday night we went to Wing Daddy’s and then headed over to Carlos’ cousin Eddie’s apartment. My little brother and three of his friends came by. We played a drinking game and I think everyone had a good time.

I worked Sunday. And we went to Wet ‘N Wild for Balloon Fest on Monday. It was a blast until the very end of the day. We were standing there watching one of the bands when my brother’s friend Nick decides to tell their little friends he had weed in my car. Hmm….well thanks for letting me know. I don’t appreciate the fact that I’m ALWAYS being nice to these kids. Driving them around and supplying them with their “party supplies” AND letting them go with me and my friends to Balloon Fest. But for this kid to bring weed in my car and not say anything…I felt sort of disrespected. I think that I should be allowed to make the decision of whether or not he can bring weed in my car. Honestly, I wouldn’t have said anything about it. No big deal but that’s not his decision to make.

Anyway, I got in a fight with my brother because I wanted to say something to his dumb friend. Micheal didn’t want me to. I shouldn’t have argued with my brother, but I was pissed off. We ended up leaving. I’m not sure my brother really understands my logic in the situation. He says he does. But he said, “What’s the point of arguing with him?” I didn’t want to argue with an 18 year old HIGH SCHOOL kid. I just felt the need to let him know that he shouldn’t have done what he did AND tell people that he had that shit in my car…in the middle of a crowd. That’s all I was trying to say. But I got mad because my brother wouldn’t let me do what I wanted to do.

Blah. The whole thing was stupid.

On top of all that I tried to talk to my mom and she’s being an selfish ass hole. Sometimes people’s true colors come out when someone dies and there are material possessions involved.

I need to get out of here ASAP. My brother says that I can’t do everything myself. At the same time I’m not going to stay here. Nobody appreciates the fact that I’m here. I have no support system. If you don’t have your family, who do you have?

I’m aggravated and disappointed. I told them that I’m tired of trying. I’m tired of arguing with them. I’m just tired in general.

So, I have a goal in mind. I’m going to save up and go visit Delilah in July. If I like it there, I might consider moving there. If not…I’m thinking San Antonio or Dallas for now. If I go to Dallas I can go to grad school and I get my masters in women’s studies. I thought about Houston so I could be closer to my brother, but I don’t think that would make our relationship any better.

Either way I have to save up and get out of here. I thought I was having issues in Charlotte. This is really making me crazy.

Anyway, I’ve posted Wet ‘N Wild pics on Myspace and Facebook. Check them out when you have some time. :)

Long Shot

{ May 19, 2009 @ 3:32 am } · { Boys, Randomness, family, friends, movies }
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Random….

So this dude told me he was going to punch me in the face today…because I wouldn’t give him a high five. Apparently he was my co-worker’s boyfriend, but I had never seen him in my life. My first reaction was to hesitate because I didn’t know who he was. So he says to this other guy, “Man, if this chick doesn’t give me a high five I’m gonna punch her in her fucking face.”

Are you fucking kidding me? That is the most disrespectful thing a guy has said to me in a LONG time. I mean, I’m constantly called a bitch or stuck up because I don’t waste my time with random LOSERS. But for this fool to says he’s going to punch me (and not even say just kidding or even LAUGH) was beyond ridiculous. It didn’t help that I have been holding a lot of stuff in from the last week. My lack of an emotional outlet got the best of me (as usual) and I got WAY too upset about it.

Believe it or not, I didn’t cry or yell or do anything CRAZY. But I did feel my emotions get out of control. I got too mad and stayed that way for a long while. I’m not sure if my lack of a reaction is a good thing, but I’m just happy nobody saw me get upset. The whole thing was “uncool”, but I shouldn’t have been that mad about it. The old version of myself would have put that fool in his place. I keep trying to find that girl. I wonder where she disappeared to because I really need her right now. I keep thinking, “Why is everything so intense with me?”

Anyway….I found out today that we are having a small “service” for my grandma on Wednesday. I don’t know what my mom did, but I hope it’s just the burial of the remains. I saw the paperwork from the funeral home and it said something about embalming for family viewing. THAT is too weird for me and would hurt too much. I hope we’re not having a viewing. I want to remember my grandma a certain way.

In other news….

I’m seriously over people saying one thing to me and doing another. WHY? My family, friends, guys. LOL I keep trying to wrap my head around it and I don’t get it. I’ve got Jess, my brother, and my sisters to trust at the moment. Everyone else seems to have other reasons to get behind my walls. You “like” me or you like LOOKING at me and just want to get in my pants. You’re more interested in yourself than how I might be feeling.

Also…

I feel like you guys would know for sure if I “LIKE” you. If I haven’t made a move, I DON’T LIKE YOU LIKE THAT! I honestly feel bad because there are some awesome guys in my life. But I can’t like everyone that likes me. I can’t and I refuse to lead people on. It’s fucked up and you guys should stop doing it too! I really have so many stupid situations going on…and I’m not directing this at any one person. A few of them don’t even know this blog exists. lol But I need to vent.

At the same time, I think when I decide to let go, I really do it and I fall hard. My feelings get hurt easily too. I wish there was some middle ground. I also wish that I didn’t try so hard to trust people that probably don’t deserve it. Like what’s his face…lol. The rest of this conversation is for a certain time and certain ears.

I just took a quiz that said

Tiffany completed the quiz “When will you get married?” with the result 40s+.
You are not in any rush at all to get married. You really want to make sure that you get a chance to follow your dreams before you make such a huge commitment. If you get married at all it will be later in life..

Wow…I guess there’s a reason my relationships fail and I don’t really try to seriously date people anymore. haha And yes I take those Facebook quizzes VERY seriously. ;)

I’m watching Crazy/Beautiful. One of my FAVORITE movies ever, minus Kirsten Dunst and her TERRIBLE acting (made better by Jay Hernandez and his FINE FINE self). For the first time her character actually reminds me of…..me. Scary. There’s a reason I feel an attachment to this movie. I’d go into details about it, but I think I’ve overstayed my welcome in this post. LOL

Oh yeah. Wet N’ Wild for Balloon Fest on Monday, for those of you that would like to come along. We’re putting money together for food and buying the tickets on Wednesday. Get back to me if you’re interested.

And with that….DEUCES!

Road Trip

{ May 18, 2009 @ 12:03 am } · { Travel, family }
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So, I just returned from a fun weekend in Houston and San Antonio. I went to pick my brother up from school. We had a blast. If you want to see the pics, check out my facebook or myspace pages. If you don’t have access….too bad. LOL

The crush update…there may have been new developments. At this point I’m not giving out any details because people are nosey and/or I don’t want to jinx it.

I had a short conversation with my mother today that put me on edge. I have been here just over four months and mostly to help her. Yeah, I lost my job but I think God led me down that path so that I could be here with my family. I NEVER wanted to come back here. Ever. But I did. Now my mother has the nerve to say that I need to get “motivated” to take care of myself.

Excuse me….I have been doing that for a long time. Sure, I have been staying with her for the last four months but she hasn’t been paying any of my bills or feeding me. Plus, I’ve been helping her out by giving her some money. I’m trying to figure out why she was saying all of this to my brother like I wasn’t in the room AND she said it like I’m some loser that has never left home. It’s very unfair for her to say that. I came here to help and because I needed the support (I’m talking about emotional, not financial support) of my family. If I wanted to be “unmotivated” I wouldn’t have taken the first job I could get (Applebee’s).

I really don’t appreciate that she said that. I HATE living with her, so it’s not like I don’t want my own place. BUT I don’t want to get a place in El Paso. If I do that I will probably stay here forever. Fuck that.

Anyway, I have been waiting to blog about my trip all weekend. After my mom’s comments, I really don’t feel like it anymore. hmm…..I think it’s time to look for a job outside of El Paso. I need to get out of here ASAP.

Crush

{ May 13, 2009 @ 4:03 pm } · { Uncategorized }
{ Tags: , , , } · { Comments (3) }

So, besides all the other drama that is going on in my life….R.I.P. Grandma….I’ve had butterflies recently. WEIRD because I haven’t had a crush on anyone in a LONG LONG LONG time.

The messed up part is that I haven’t said anything about this to ANYONE until now. You wouldn’t even be able to guess who it is. Plus, I barely realized it myself.

At the same time having a crush is similar to unrequited love. Who likes that feeling? YUCK! It reminds me of being with Eric or even when I was talking to whatever other guy I was talking to. I loved Eric and I liked “so and so” , but sometimes it didn’t seem like the feelings were reciprocated. You know what I mean?

Anyway, the butterflies are fun. The rest is lame. And regardless of my currently LACK of control over my emotions, boys still suck. :)

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