Archive for October, 2008

Having a Vagina is a Pre-existing Condition

{ October 30, 2008 @ 9:25 pm } · { Feminist Rants }
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I was on The New York Times Website today and I came across THIS article.

Women Buying Health Policies Pay a Penalty

Nice. So, I have been experiencing this quite a bit the last few years. Having bipolar II is no joke. I am supposed to be medicated and in therapy. I do not have to be in therapy all the time. But I am supposed to see a psychiatrist regularly for medication management. Those visits can run about $300 a piece. If I go once a month….well, you get it. Of course I have insurance through my job. I am “guaranteed” the same rates as my male co-workers, but I have shopped around to get insurance of my own. It’s outrageous. My biggest issue is mental health and you have to pay A LOT more to get coverage for that if they offer it at all.

It is unfortunately that women still only make 3/4 of what men make, but our insurance is higher. Contraceptives are outrageously priced. We go to the doctor to PREVENT serious illness as much as possible and we are penalized for it. I have never understood that. Many men avoid seeing a doctor and they are rewarded for it. I understand that maybe women see the doctor more often, especially in child bearing years. But in the long run we are helping those fuckers spend less, but gain more. We live longer, so we are around to pay the outrageous premiums longer. Men die….and they got out cheap. WTF

This kinda shit really bothers me because I feel like there’s nothing I can do. I am stuck with an amazing amount of doctor bills. Even with the coverage I have the insurance company fights paying up. Right now they are screaming “Pre-existing Condition” for a PREGNANCY TEST! Not A PREGNANCY….just the TEST that came back negative. I didn’t realize that pregnancy was a pre-existing condition. Or how about going to the gynecologist?

Is having a vagina a preexisting condition too?

Apparently it is because we have to pay more and still make less. Stupid, racist, patriarchy.

Girls that Box are AWESOME!

{ October 30, 2008 @ 12:04 pm } · { Uncategorized }
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So, I was browsing the New York Times and I came across this article about Choi Hyun-mi. Her family fled North Korea for a new/better life and they ran into some obstacles (like prejudice….booo). They now live in the south, but her father was unable to find work. But she won the World Boxing Association’s women’s featherweight championship. How cool is that? Being a successful boxer she can help her family financially.

She said she boxed for her family, for fame and for her figure. “Boxing makes you curvy,” she said, striking a pose with a giggle. “I want to be a pretty girl who does pretty boxing.”

She added: “But in this sport, you do take some punches.”

You may think I’m crazy for thinking this is amazing. She’s only 17! Of course, I do not like how this story was written. Why does she have to giggle? Blah.  And alot of it was about her father.  BUT I am happy that they thought this was worth reporting. Read the article. It’s pretty cool if you think about it. She makes like $7000 per fight. And she’s using her new found fame to help take care of her family. At the same time she enjoys what she is doing. I also love that she is happy about being curvy! HOORAY!

Anyway, that is all for now.

So You Don’t Think You’re a Feminist?

{ October 27, 2008 @ 9:44 pm } · { Feminist Rants, General Information }
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Feminism

The doctrine — and the political movement based on it — that women should have the same economic, social, and political rights as men.

 

Stole that from www.dictionary.com again.

 

Just thought I’d share that since feminism/feminist has a stupid stigma attached to it.  Also, read this…and then tell me you’re not a feminist. (This comes from One Angry Girl)

I'm not a feminist

My New Year’s Resolution

{ October 27, 2008 @ 2:04 pm } · { Feminist Rants, General Information }
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Yeah I know what you’re thinking.  “Isn’t it a little early for a New Year’s resolution?”

Sure, but I have to do some research before I get started in 2009.  I just thought I’d share some of my information with you.  My thoughts.  My goals.

2009:

1.  Take the GRE.

2.  Only read books by and for women.  I may make a few exceptions depending on the content of the book. This is because I want to read Lies My Teacher Told Me by James W. Loewen. Plus, I need to study for the GRE.  Let’s face it.  Most of those test-prep books aren’t written by and for women.

3.  Write a magazine article.  This idea absolutely terrifies me for some reason, but all I can do is try.

4.  Stop spending my money at stores owned by super corporations.  I will attempt this.  But I definitely need to do some research because I LOVE LOVE LOVE Target. 

5.  Find a fulfilling job if I’m not able to move away and go to grad school in Fall 2009.

Anyway, that’s all I can think of right now.  I have been searching the internet for some Feminist/Women oriented organization in Charlotte and I am not having much luck.  Any ideas?

Also, here are links to a few sights I have been checking out lately:

About Face is an organization that deals with body image issues and advertising among other things. The have a gallery of offenders: companies/designers that have degrading advertisements to/of women.

Adios Barbie is another sight that deals with body image. Interesting stuff.  I actually have the Body Outlaws book.

Angry Girl sells awesome T-shirts. AHHH! Talk about an easy way to be pro-active.

That’s about it for now.  I just thought I’d share.

Ignore Mean Boys

{ October 25, 2008 @ 2:51 pm } · { books }
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“It is your duty to ignore mean boys and their games.”

I’m still reading Cunt, and I have just found a common ground with Inga Muscio. She describes fighting with boys during her childhood, if they were being mean to girls. This was me. I beat up boys that were mean…to me. I remember one particular incident. I was in third of fourth grade and this kid kept picking on me, calling me “horse head.” I was a cute kid, so don’t you assume it was because I was ugly. I had long hair that I ALWAYS wore in a PONYtail. I walked and it swung side to side like a horse’s tail. Therefore, I was horse head.

Anyway, I was fed up one day. He was following me home from school, taunting me. So, I turned around and slapped the hell out of him with my umbrella. He didn’t bother me again after that. And most of the boys didn’t bother me ever again. If they did I took their fingers and bent them back as far as I could. Fuck ‘em.

As Muscio says, “I got big”, and now I have to ignore all the big mean boys. And like Muscio, I have a hard time ignoring these situations. Unfortunately it has become my “reality to let the mean boys slide.” How unfair is this? It reminds me of my constant struggle to ignore Todd at work.

The most mournful part of this is that I can not even “tattle” or exact retribution. It is HIGHLY likely I will lose my job. He is a “mean boy” and I’m supposed to be oblivious to his patronizing comments. Realistically, I am living in fear of this BOY, of this situation. How can I deal with that? He has power over me because I am afraid to lose my job, car, home, and general comfort. I have let this man have the power to make my world fall apart.

Maybe it sounds a little….dramatic, but it’s true. Somehow I have to learn better tactics to deal with him. I have to find a way to “fight” him psychologically. It is my job to find a form of self-protection to deal with this condescending prick. My next step is to figure out HOW to do that. Everytime I turn around he changes the rules, so I am always doing WRONG. Hmm…..It’s something I have to ruminate.

How do I mind-rape my boss without losing my job? Sounds bad, right? Well that’s what he does to me everytime he says something rude/stupid/annoying/ridiculous.

My first action is: STOP LAUGHING AT HIS LAME JOKES.

I will let you know how this goes….

“Huge Backlog of Rape Kits”

{ October 24, 2008 @ 11:00 pm } · { Feminist Rants }
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So…..I try to keep up with my news on women’s issues by subscribing to various blogs, website newsletters, and magazines.  Most of the stuff I read is annoying, but it is content that I am used to seeing.  Let’s face it; shitty things happen to women.  There are lots of commendable things going on as well.  Not all is repugnant in the world of women.

Today I was reading THIS ARTICLE about rape kits in Los Angeles. For those of you too lazy to click on the link and actually READ the article, I can summarize. (It’s short, but if you have a crappy computer, like the one I have at work, you probably don’t want to wait 10 minutes for the new page to load.)

ANYWHOOO……As of September 4, 2008, there are approximately 7000 rape kits in Los Angeles that have not be analyzed.

“At least 217 of those untested kits have now passed the statute of limitations for prosecution of the crimes, and are therefore useless”

I can’t even tell you how much this sickens me. Some women’s rights organizations took the time to advocate a legislation in 2004 to get more money for the LAPD to fix this issue and they managed to fuck it up.

“Timely testing of rape kits is essential in identifying and convicting perpetrators who are frequently repeat offenders.”

I would say DUH, but that’s kind of obvious, right? HOW THE HELL does that shit happen? I understand that there are MANY pressing issues in the world. BUT do you all realize how many rapes go UNREPORTED? So, these women that actually take the time (like it’s a leisurely activitiy, right?) to report their rape are getting no fucking justice. This means that if there is a serial rapist….he’s getting away with it. Or some girl is sitting around WAITING for some fucking results so that the guy that raped her can be prosecuted.

Oh but WAIT….just over 200 of those RAPIST got away with it because the authorities do not think it is important. WOW!

For those of you that love the women in your life, I want you to think long and hard about how atrocious this really is. Let’s keep in mind that MEN can be raped too, but that’s not really what this is about. Do you know someone that has been raped? Have you experienced this disturbing act of violence? Now image that your mom/sister/cousin/daughter/wife was raped and her rapist got away because the rape kit was not analyzed in time.

WTF

Fucking Education….

{ October 23, 2008 @ 8:45 pm } · { Feminist Rants }
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Ok….so I went the University of Phoenix route and I have officially decided that I HATE it. OMG I LOATHE it! I cannot even tell you how unhappy I am with this.

Now I have decided to quit, drop out, stop.  Of course, now they are telling me that if I do not finish my current class I will IMMEDIATELY owe the lenders $3000.00.  That is a joke.  Sure I will owe them.  Will they get it anytime soon? NOT LIKELY!

My point right now is that this is such bullshit.  It is amazing that it is sooooooooooooo fucking expensive to better yourself.  As many of you know, you can’t do shit with a bachelor’s degree unless it’s engineering or something crazy hard like that.  I am not a math/science person, so I am fucked, right?  Whatever.

I have a BA in psychology which is virtually worthless.  I make less than anyone working for my company right now and I have the same or more education than most of them.  Sure, they have experience in the industry, but I have EDUCATION, computer skills, phone skills, and customer service experience! I have common sense, I’m computer literate, and I am dedicated.  I also have an opinion, but I don’t think I’m allowed to have that.  That’s an entirely different story though.  You’d think that having a degree would give me a little bit of a leg up.  NOT HAPPENING.

So, I guess I’m just trying to say that our education system is stupid.  Why should I have to pay so damn much to go to school if I’m not going to ever make any money?  Why go at all?  I obviously have a need for knowledge.  I enjoy learning.  BUT I have to work to pay ridiculous bills and taxes that are in no way benefiting me, along with ridiculous medical bills because insurance doesn’t cover shit, but I have to have it.  I WANT an education and it is so far from my reach right now, I’m just a little pissed off.  I want to be a better person, a better citizen.  I want to contribute to society in a positive way.  But the education that I have is being wasted while I sit in a leasing office renting stupid apartments that aren’t worth what we charge. While the white man continues to profit off of hard working (well not all of them are, but most of them) people.  When I say white man…I am not being an ass hole.  It’s just the reality of it all.

This leads me to my whole dislike of corporate america and the white men that run it.  It’s like the person I work for….He’s no better than I am.  He only has a bachelor’s degree, just like me.  He also has NO people skills and he probably has no ambition (or reason) to contribute to the world to make it better.  He makes money and tells me what to do.  Actually, he talks to me like I’m his fucking servant and like I’m a moron, but that’s beside the point.  It’s complete BULLSHIT!

I WILL go back to school and get my master’s in Women’s Studies.  In the mean time I will work 2 jobs and pay off the student loans that should have aided me in NOT having to work 2 jobs.  Along with that, I want to dedicate myself to women’s issues and local activism in my area.  I have to do something because I am slowly becoming VERY angry at this SYSTEM that is not benefiting me and people like me. 

It’s funny that we have this election coming up and we have all these issues in our country…..and people are choosing to stand around and DO NOTHING.  It’s your right to vote, but don’t fucking complain when this shit gets WORSE.  And don’t complain when you can’t afford to even THINK about sending your kid to college.

My Cunt

{ October 22, 2008 @ 10:47 am } · { Feminist Rants, books }
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Cunt

Noun.

1.  vulva or vagina.

2.  disparaging and offensive

  • a woman
  • a contemptible person

3.  sexual intercourse with a woman.

So, we can all agree that according to www.dictionary.com, the word CUNT is pretty vulgar.  I love that “a woman” and “a contemptible person” are part of the same definition.  Wow….

As you may already know, I am reading a book called cunt by Inga Muscio.  VERY interesting stuff.  I always saw it in the bookstores, but I never bought it.  Thanks to my fellow book-lover, Brooke, my mind has been opened to my ”anatomical jewel.”

While it seems that this entire book will center around the word cunt, I think Muscio is using it to make a very valid point.  Society views our vagina and their happens as bad and unclean.  I did not realize how much I despised having a vagina and menstruation until I started reading this book.

I have yet to fully embrace my cunt like Muscio, but I am really getting into this book.  First of all, I have only read about 1/4 of the book and I have already gotten over the whole stigma for the word cunt.  I am not afraid to say it anymore.  I did have a guy see me reading the book and he said, “Why are you reading…this book…with this word on it?”  ROFLMAO!  I asked him if he was afraid to say cunt and he laughed.  We had a short conversation about the title.  He did not say CUNT; not even once.

Cunt has never really been a part of my vocabulary, but I never realized that I had a hard time actually vocalizing the word. CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT.  Say it! LOL

Muscio writes about alternatives to tampons and pads.  She has a great point though.  Why do men run and benefit from industries that should be run by women?  What do men know about menstration?  HELLO!  Sure, we have male doctors, but what do they REALLY know about the bleeding we experience every 28 days?  Nothing.

She also writes about abortion and whores.  I can not tell you how excited I have been while reading this book.  While you may have a difficult time embracing Muscio’s views, it is a freshing read.  Yeah, this sounds like a book review, but fuck it.  I have never read a book that was so candid and real.  I feel as though she it talking directly to me.  It’s like we are having a conversation.  She has an explosvie vocabulary, so keep your dictionary handy if you are not up on your SAT words.

READ this book.  Since I may have to keep Brooke’s copy, I will have to buy her another one.  hehe

Oh by the way….I’m dropping out of grad school.  I’ve known all along that my passion is women’s issues and/or feminism.  I can do deal with this psychology bullshit anymore.  I am going to get a second job to pay down my debt and then I am going to move so that I can attend a real school and further my education in women and gender studies.  I think I am trying to save the world.  ;)

Anyway, check out the book. Or click the link above to check out her website.  There are excerpts from her book.  Thank you Brooke.  You have made me realize how beautiful my cunt really is! lol

Pariah

{ October 17, 2008 @ 5:24 pm } · { Feminist Rants, General Information }
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For those of you that do not know the definition, here it is:

Pariah – –noun

1. an outcast.
2. any person or animal that is generally despised or avoided.
3. (initial capital letter) a member of a low caste in southern India and Burma.

That is from www.dictionary.com. 

I am not trying to insult your intelligience, I just want to spread some knowledge.  I know there are some of you out there that didn’t know what it meant.  ;)

A roach could be considered a pariah, even a spider. Then there are people….you, me, we, anybody.

I’ve been thinking lately, about where I fit in. This is like torture because I am now 25 years old and I can’t even find a little nitch in this world. At the same time I am like, “why do I feel this way? I can be me and do what I wanna do.” The unfortunate issues is that many of us, including me, do not want to do everything alone. I don’t find going to the movies alone or even to dinner alone. I have done all of those things before. There are just some times when doing things alone is not fun. At the same time, I want people around, I am also an expert on pushing them away.

For the most part I have come to terms with the fact that I do not really fit in with the people of North Carolina. Besides Brooke, I have yet to meet a person in NC that likes the same things I do. At the same time, Brooke is a Texas girl like me. LOL Plus, she’s alot more interesting than I am. haha Then again, maybe I am sabotaging myself in many ways.

ANYWAY, there is a blog that I read and I want to introduce you all too it. This particular post got me a little worked up. So……. CLICK HERE to read about something interesting about ingorant parents and a transgender music teacher. Great idea to teach your kids that it is NOT ok to be different. AWESOME!  Ignorant people are stupid. But check out the other entries on that blog. Great info.

Oh and check out BookWoman if you like books by and for women. It’s located in Austin, but you know me and books….hehe.

Enjoy your weekend. I may be back to write, but I have to work and do a shit load of homework I’ve been putting off all week. Grad school sucks. I don’t know why I’m doing psychology instead of women/gender studies. But that is a whole other story!

Triggered

{ October 14, 2008 @ 1:50 pm } · { CrAzY }
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It’s official.  I know that some events in my life can trigger my manic/depressive episodes and it has happened.  The events of the last week and a half have tossed me into the arms of depression once again.  It’s weird to say that and know that I am still cycling even thought I am on meds.  I know for sure that I would be even more depressed if I was not medicated, but this still sucks. ALOT.

I haven’t really had the energy to write or do much of anything.  My apartment is a true mess.  I have clothes everywhere.  Mostly clean clothes that I just do not have the motivation to put away.  My place isn’t DIRTY….it’s just cluttered.

My birthday was terrible.  I let Larry ruin that for me.  Then I get some bad news yesterday and that was a HUGE slap in the face.  I don’t even know what to say about it, except that I went to bed at 8 or 9 pm and still couldn’t get up for work this morning.  My life doesn’t even feel real right now.  I feel like I’m floating through this.

I had to call Eric yesterday.  Don’t ask.  He said that I should call him if I wanna talk or hang out.  Yeah right.  Stupid fuck, I HATE you.  And I hate you even more now.

Saturday was another bad night.  I got drunk and I had every intention of doing so.  At the same time, I didn’t eat before I went out so I was a true mess.  Atleast I wasn’t messy at the bar.  It was afterward….wow.  I can only think of one other time that I got that drunk and that was years ago.

So, I may or may not be around to write.  I don’t know if I will feel up to it.  I did schedule another appointment and I start therapy on Tuesday.  I need to go.  Don’t let me cancel it at the last minute just because I’m too scared to deal with my REAL issues….and I don’t even know what they are anymore.  :(

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