More setbacks, but I’m back to blogging…hmmm…
Some of you may be wondering what happened in Vegas and why I’m back in NC. I’m trying to figure it out too. I don’t know. All I know is that everything happens for a reason. I loved it in Vegas, but I guess that’s not where God wants me to be right now. I have no hard feelings towards anyone. I guess I just chose to trust the wrong people and I don’t think that’s a bad thing on my part. Hopefully I’ll know better next time.
On the up side, I have been able to start reconnecting with my family and some old friends. While I was happy in Vegas, I didn’t feel SAFE. Now, I feel safe and I feel like I can be myself and start growing again. I have learned sooooooo much in the last few years, especially in 2009. Whether I like it or not I’ve had to grow up even more than I ever have. I thought things were hard before….geez. LOL
Speaking of old friends…
Do you ever notice that there are people that pop in and out of your life? Or maybe they never really left, you just took a break. I have a few in particular that have a tendency to do that. It’s probably my fault that they “go away” because I am quick to write people off. It’s a flaw for me. I just have a really low tolerance for “friends” that do stuff that is less than friend like. I really try to give 200% for the people that I truly care about. When I don’t get that much in return I walk away.
This came to my attention a few days ago when an old friend said, “We always pick up where we left off.” True. I guess that’s a sign that I never should have stopped talking to them in the first place. Honestly, I have some serious trust issues. I know that. You guys know that. Sometimes it’s easier to run and hide, especially when something or someone seems too good to be true. Kind of like the Vegas situation. I took a leap and ended up getting burned. I lost a friend in that situation and it makes me really sad to know that we won’t ever be able to repair what we had. She refuses to apologize for ANYTHING because she has too much pride (her words, not mine) and I won’t look back because I don’t want to get my feelings hurt again. We’re both stubborn.
As for the other old friends…I’m working on that. I’m trying to mend some things and trying to work on myself at the same time. I just hope those people are willing to work on it with me. 
I just wonder what purpose some of these people are supposed to serve in my life. I mean, some are friends, but we’re not close friends…so I wonder what their “job” is. I also wonder what my “job” is in their universe. Hmmm….
Anyway…
I’m working and bringing in a little bit of cash. I also have some great prospects (jobs). Hopefully they will work out. In the meantime, my parents has let me stay with them and I’m grateful for that. No point in struggling if you don’t have to, right?
My 26th birthday is coming up! I’m nervous and excited. I can’t believe I’m heading for 30!!! AWWW!!! Plans so far:
1. A facial in Cary with my stepmother on my actual birthday (October 7 for those that don’t already know). I’m sure Shamara will want to go too…but she has school. If you guys want to join us, let me know. I’m sure we will have lunch up there too.
2. Dinner with family and friends in Raleigh on October 10. I’m thinking Carrabba’s. Maybe Bahama Breeze. Need to find out if they have a Maggiano’s up there though. Actually, I wanted to go to Charlotte, but I figured Raleigh would make it easier for my family to attend. Of course my Charlotte friends are always welcome to come up here. We have room at the house for a few people to crash.
3. Drinks and hopefully some dancing. I need to figure out what the night life if like in Raleigh. Anybody know? Nothing too fancy, but I don’t want to end up in any places where we will get shot. LOL
That’s about it for now. Nothing amazing, but I know I’ll have a good time.
As for the birthday outfit…I saw this awesome little black dress and I have some shoes I want to wear…if I don’t find better ones. haha 4 inch heels anyone? And yes! I expect you to wear something half way decent if you’re coming with me. Of course, if we’re going out afterward, I will be wearing jeans and flats because I plan to have plenty of drinks! You know me. Hopefully my tolerance isn’t lowered from my LACK of drinking in the last month. We’ll see.
Well, that’s about it for now. I’m going to stop writing now. If you read this far, I appreciate you. LOL
Monica Said:
on September 18, 2009 at 7:50 pm
2009’s been a rough year for a lot of us. Lots of growing up involved. Is this a new critical age for us all? (like becoming a teen, an adult, being able to drink, going over the hill… ) Maybe we’re meant to go through a year of hell at the same point in our lives? LOL I don’t know, but learning about ourselves is never a bad thing. What an eye-opening year, right?! Oh, and guess who showed up at my apartment at 1:00 am the other night? YUP! (I’m sure you guessed right.) His gf left him for her ex and life is kicking him in the ass, so he comes to ME. WTF? Uh, not my job anymore! … I can assure you that won’t be happening again, haha. Speaking of trust, one of this year’s lessons was in learning to trust myself and my own instincts. I know you’re learning that too, Tiff. You’re going to be even stronger now than you’ve ever been because of that. Anywho, I hope you have an awesome birthday when it finally does come around. You deserve a decent celebration!