Comments for If I Hadn't Made Me... http://desertorchid.wordpress.com I'd have fallen apart by now! Mon, 28 Sep 2009 17:37:38 +0000 http://wordpress.com/ hourly 1 Comment on My “What If’s” by desertorchid http://desertorchid.wordpress.com/2009/09/28/my-what-ifs/#comment-235 desertorchid Mon, 28 Sep 2009 17:37:38 +0000 http://desertorchid.wordpress.com/?p=591#comment-235 Q - I'm pretty sure I seriously THOUGHT I wanted to marry Eric. And I can't stand kids, but I even considered having kids with him b/c that's what he wanted. I didn't want that. I think Marriage is an institution that can RUIN a relationship. That being said...it works for some people. I just don't know if I'm one of those people. I'm not worried and I'm sure you're right. I just hope that people don't think I'm LOOKING for someone. I know that it will happen when the time is right. Plus, I won't let you say "I told you so." lol Q – I’m pretty sure I seriously THOUGHT I wanted to marry Eric. And I can’t stand kids, but I even considered having kids with him b/c that’s what he wanted.

I didn’t want that. I think Marriage is an institution that can RUIN a relationship. That being said…it works for some people. I just don’t know if I’m one of those people.

I’m not worried and I’m sure you’re right. I just hope that people don’t think I’m LOOKING for someone. I know that it will happen when the time is right. Plus, I won’t let you say “I told you so.” lol

]]> Comment on My “What If’s” by desertorchid http://desertorchid.wordpress.com/2009/09/28/my-what-ifs/#comment-234 desertorchid Mon, 28 Sep 2009 17:33:22 +0000 http://desertorchid.wordpress.com/?p=591#comment-234 Monica....you are soooooooo right about all of that. LOL Especially the family part. I know the "bad habits" I've picked up from family members. I'm just trying to figure out how to deal with that fear. It's hard to overcome. Monica….you are soooooooo right about all of that. LOL Especially the family part. I know the “bad habits” I’ve picked up from family members.

I’m just trying to figure out how to deal with that fear. It’s hard to overcome.

]]> Comment on My “What If’s” by Monica http://desertorchid.wordpress.com/2009/09/28/my-what-ifs/#comment-233 Monica Mon, 28 Sep 2009 17:19:21 +0000 http://desertorchid.wordpress.com/?p=591#comment-233 Obviously, you and I have been on different paths, but I can offer you words of advice based on what I've learned in the past year. All things that I picked up in counseling, from friends, or in misc. situations (like my yoga class, haha) that have helped me through the toughest time in my life thus far. Take it or leave it. In the end, it's all about what works best for YOU anyway. :o) 1) Love is never wrong. Anger is never right. (That's what I was told, but I think in some situations, a bit of anger can be healthy as long as you keep it in check. Repeating this to myself helps me to keep that anger in check.) 2) The opposite of love is not hate. It's fear. So ask yourself, am I doing this out of love, or fear? And remember that intuition and fear are not the same thing either. Intuition helps you to love and care for yourself, fear prevents you from loving. 3) Don't loose your individuality in a relationship. It takes two whole people to be a couple. Two messes only make one bigger mess. 4) When you make decisions, make sure that you make them based on what's best for YOU in the long term, whether or not there is someone special in your life. If it's meant to be, then they'll be there regardless of the decision you make. If it doesn't work out with them, you won't have any regrets because you'll have done the best you could for yourself. 5) It's much harder to walk through life with eyes closed. So keep your eyes, mind, and heart open. 6) Nobody can give what they don't have. Just be aware of that fact. 7) You are a part of your family, and your family is a part of you. Learn to recognise the patterns you picked up, whether they are positive, negative, or neutral. (This is a big part in getting to know yourself and forming who you are or want to be.) 8) And finally, sometimes, we ask for things we need. Other times, all we need is to be able to ask for them. Obviously, you and I have been on different paths, but I can offer you words of advice based on what I’ve learned in the past year. All things that I picked up in counseling, from friends, or in misc. situations (like my yoga class, haha) that have helped me through the toughest time in my life thus far. Take it or leave it. In the end, it’s all about what works best for YOU anyway. :o )

1) Love is never wrong. Anger is never right.
(That’s what I was told, but I think in some situations, a bit of anger can be healthy as long as you keep it in check. Repeating this to myself helps me to keep that anger in check.)

2) The opposite of love is not hate. It’s fear. So ask yourself, am I doing this out of love, or fear? And remember that intuition and fear are not the same thing either. Intuition helps you to love and care for yourself, fear prevents you from loving.

3) Don’t loose your individuality in a relationship. It takes two whole people to be a couple. Two messes only make one bigger mess.

4) When you make decisions, make sure that you make them based on what’s best for YOU in the long term, whether or not there is someone special in your life. If it’s meant to be, then they’ll be there regardless of the decision you make. If it doesn’t work out with them, you won’t have any regrets because you’ll have done the best you could for yourself.

5) It’s much harder to walk through life with eyes closed. So keep your eyes, mind, and heart open.

6) Nobody can give what they don’t have. Just be aware of that fact.

7) You are a part of your family, and your family is a part of you. Learn to recognise the patterns you picked up, whether they are positive, negative, or neutral. (This is a big part in getting to know yourself and forming who you are or want to be.)

8) And finally, sometimes, we ask for things we need. Other times, all we need is to be able to ask for them.

]]> Comment on My “What If’s” by Quenton Cummings http://desertorchid.wordpress.com/2009/09/28/my-what-ifs/#comment-232 Quenton Cummings Mon, 28 Sep 2009 13:35:22 +0000 http://desertorchid.wordpress.com/?p=591#comment-232 DAMN GURL. YOU WRITE/TYPE SOME INTERESTING BLOGS. I THINK YOU SHOULD HAVE A COLUMN IN A MAG OR SOMETHING. LOL BUT DONT WORRY HOMIE!! YOU'RE GOING TO FIND SOMEONE WHO IS GONNA BLOW UR MIND. SOMEONE THAT MIGHT EVEN MAKE YOU QUESTION YOUR SELF ON MARRIAGE AND YES EVEN HAVING KIDS. TRUE LOVE CAN MAKE DO A LOT OF THINGS YOU THOUGHT YOU COULDNT OR WOULDNT DO. LETS SEE WHAT IT WELL DO TO MISS TIFFANY. I CANT WAIT TO SAY TOLD YOU SO LOL DAMN GURL. YOU WRITE/TYPE SOME INTERESTING BLOGS. I THINK YOU SHOULD HAVE A COLUMN IN A MAG OR SOMETHING. LOL BUT DONT WORRY HOMIE!! YOU’RE GOING TO FIND SOMEONE WHO IS GONNA BLOW UR MIND. SOMEONE THAT MIGHT EVEN MAKE YOU QUESTION YOUR SELF ON MARRIAGE AND YES EVEN HAVING KIDS. TRUE LOVE CAN MAKE DO A LOT OF THINGS YOU THOUGHT YOU COULDNT OR WOULDNT DO. LETS SEE WHAT IT WELL DO TO MISS TIFFANY. I CANT WAIT TO SAY TOLD YOU SO LOL

]]> Comment on Almost There. by Monica http://desertorchid.wordpress.com/2009/09/18/almost-there/#comment-231 Monica Sat, 19 Sep 2009 00:50:36 +0000 http://desertorchid.wordpress.com/?p=583#comment-231 2009's been a rough year for a lot of us. Lots of growing up involved. Is this a new critical age for us all? (like becoming a teen, an adult, being able to drink, going over the hill... ) Maybe we're meant to go through a year of hell at the same point in our lives? LOL I don't know, but learning about ourselves is never a bad thing. What an eye-opening year, right?! Oh, and guess who showed up at my apartment at 1:00 am the other night? YUP! (I'm sure you guessed right.) His gf left him for her ex and life is kicking him in the ass, so he comes to ME. WTF? Uh, not my job anymore! ... I can assure you that won't be happening again, haha. Speaking of trust, one of this year's lessons was in learning to trust myself and my own instincts. I know you're learning that too, Tiff. You're going to be even stronger now than you've ever been because of that. Anywho, I hope you have an awesome birthday when it finally does come around. You deserve a decent celebration! :) 2009’s been a rough year for a lot of us. Lots of growing up involved. Is this a new critical age for us all? (like becoming a teen, an adult, being able to drink, going over the hill… ) Maybe we’re meant to go through a year of hell at the same point in our lives? LOL I don’t know, but learning about ourselves is never a bad thing. What an eye-opening year, right?! Oh, and guess who showed up at my apartment at 1:00 am the other night? YUP! (I’m sure you guessed right.) His gf left him for her ex and life is kicking him in the ass, so he comes to ME. WTF? Uh, not my job anymore! … I can assure you that won’t be happening again, haha. Speaking of trust, one of this year’s lessons was in learning to trust myself and my own instincts. I know you’re learning that too, Tiff. You’re going to be even stronger now than you’ve ever been because of that. Anywho, I hope you have an awesome birthday when it finally does come around. You deserve a decent celebration! :)

]]> Comment on Don’t Lie by Monica http://desertorchid.wordpress.com/2009/08/22/dont-lie/#comment-229 Monica Sun, 23 Aug 2009 07:29:22 +0000 http://desertorchid.wordpress.com/?p=576#comment-229 I know the feeling... I was upfront with my ex about the exact same thing... Be honest, lying will only hurt me more, and about my feelings about a certain weakness that some people have. If he'd been honest from the begining, I would have never dated him and never ended up in the situation I'm in... I totally get that feeling and I'm sorry that you have to go through this. Seems like we all do though. Maybe it's just one of those required life lessons or whatever. I just wish there was a way to learn WHATEVER lesson it is we're supposed to learn from this that didn't hurt so much or screw us up so much. Anyway, just wanted you to know you're not alone, and you're totally justified in being PISSED about it. You know you can rant and rave to me if you need to... LOL... Hang in there :) I know the feeling… I was upfront with my ex about the exact same thing… Be honest, lying will only hurt me more, and about my feelings about a certain weakness that some people have. If he’d been honest from the begining, I would have never dated him and never ended up in the situation I’m in… I totally get that feeling and I’m sorry that you have to go through this. Seems like we all do though. Maybe it’s just one of those required life lessons or whatever. I just wish there was a way to learn WHATEVER lesson it is we’re supposed to learn from this that didn’t hurt so much or screw us up so much. Anyway, just wanted you to know you’re not alone, and you’re totally justified in being PISSED about it. You know you can rant and rave to me if you need to… LOL… Hang in there :)

]]> Comment on How Convenient by Monica http://desertorchid.wordpress.com/2009/08/09/how-convenient/#comment-226 Monica Wed, 12 Aug 2009 07:26:16 +0000 http://desertorchid.wordpress.com/?p=570#comment-226 We should hope there'd be some deserving guys out there, shouldn't we? LOL... When I meet one, I'll let you know! :) We should hope there’d be some deserving guys out there, shouldn’t we? LOL… When I meet one, I’ll let you know! :)

]]> Comment on Good News! by dESIREE http://desertorchid.wordpress.com/2009/08/06/good-news/#comment-225 dESIREE Sun, 09 Aug 2009 17:46:17 +0000 http://desertorchid.wordpress.com/?p=568#comment-225 I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’M SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!

]]> Comment on She Who Refused To Be Submissive by desertorchid http://desertorchid.wordpress.com/2009/08/05/she-who-refused-to-be-submissive/#comment-224 desertorchid Thu, 06 Aug 2009 07:44:59 +0000 http://desertorchid.wordpress.com/?p=566#comment-224 AWWW! I love you Thomas. You are fabulous as usual. I know I'm not crazy crazy. But the things that run through my head....lol AWWW! I love you Thomas. You are fabulous as usual.

I know I’m not crazy crazy. But the things that run through my head….lol

]]> Comment on She Who Refused To Be Submissive by thomas http://desertorchid.wordpress.com/2009/08/05/she-who-refused-to-be-submissive/#comment-223 thomas Wed, 05 Aug 2009 14:56:51 +0000 http://desertorchid.wordpress.com/?p=566#comment-223 Omg!! I clean when I'm upset too! My favorite thing to do is reorganize the closets, even if it happens to be the in the middle of the night! There is something therapeutic about making sense of your clutter when you can't quite make sense of anything else in your life. I envy you for trying to decide whether or not you're crazy. There is no doubt in anyone's mind that I am! ;) Seriously, though, between you and me (and all if Blogville) I think the fact that you're aware of your mental health makes it safe to say that you are going to be okay. I know, if you're like me, you probably feel a little like everything is out of control...but if you were crazy, you'd have no idea anything was wrong in the first place. :) Love and miss you! Glad you are settling in nicely with Delilah! By the way, I'm sure she wouldn't really mind a late-night toilet scrub every now and again. :D Omg!! I clean when I’m upset too! My favorite thing to do is reorganize the closets, even if it happens to be the in the middle of the night! There is something therapeutic about making sense of your clutter when you can’t quite make sense of anything else in your life.

I envy you for trying to decide whether or not you’re crazy. There is no doubt in anyone’s mind that I am! ;)

Seriously, though, between you and me (and all if Blogville) I think the fact that you’re aware of your mental health makes it safe to say that you are going to be okay. I know, if you’re like me, you probably feel a little like everything is out of control…but if you were crazy, you’d have no idea anything was wrong in the first place. :)

Love and miss you! Glad you are settling in nicely with Delilah! By the way, I’m sure she wouldn’t really mind a late-night toilet scrub every now and again. :D

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